The Trigger Trap: Why Hunting for the "Why" Keeps You Stuck

Most families spend enormous energy hunting for triggers. The thinking goes: If we can just find the one thing that caused this, we can fix it.

But here's the problem. A trigger is an outside event — a hard exam, a conflict with a friend, a packed schedule — that switches on the stress response. It's the match that starts the fire.

A warning sign is something different entirely. It's the body's own internal signal that the stress response is already underway. Things like a change in heart rate, a wave of nausea, a shift in body temperature, heaviness in the legs, or just "feeling off."

Warning signs aren't the match. They're the heat of the fire already starting.

You can ask your teen "What triggered it?" a hundred times and still go nowhere — because you're asking about the wrong part of the sequence. Once the fire is already burning, picking up the match that started it is no longer the most relevant thing.

What the Research Found About Warning Signs

A 2022 study by Stager and colleagues looked at children with functional seizures — one form of FND. The finding was striking: 98% of the children in the study reported at least one warning sign before an episode. On average, each child reported close to four different internal signals.

The most common warning signs included headache, nausea, racing heart, changes in body temperature, blurry or double vision, feeling stiff or dizzy, disorientation, and numbness.

These are all signs of the autonomic nervous system firing up. They aren't random — they're the body already in motion before anything visible happens on the outside.

The signals are almost always there, happening internally, before the symptom shows up externally.

Why Most Teens Can't Identify Their Warning Signs Yet

Here's an important nuance. What families I've worked with often discover is that most teens haven't actually noticed these signals yet. When first asked, they genuinely can't tell when something is about to happen.

This makes complete sense. Noticing your own internal signals is not automatic — it's actually a skill. The signals are there, but the awareness hasn't been built yet.

This doesn't mean awareness is missing forever. It's trainable. And that's a message of real hope.

It's also worth noting that the Stager study specifically looked at children with functional seizures, not other FND subtypes. That may explain why there's so much variability in awareness levels across teens with different presentations.

The Counterintuitive Truth: Why Stopping a Flare Makes Things Worse

This is where families often go wrong with the very best of intentions.

Every instinct you have says: Help your teen shut it down before it happens. That impulse comes from a place of love. But here's what the neuroscience tells us.

When a teen tries to force a symptom to stop or prevent it from coming, the nervous system reads that effort as proof that the symptom is dangerous. The brain that believes the symptom is dangerous stays on high alert — and that's the exact pattern that keeps FND going.

Fighting the symptom actually strengthens the very neural pathways that need to be retrained. Families end up accidentally reinforcing the stuck cycle.

The Real Goal: Felt Control, Not Symptom Prevention

So if the goal isn't to catch the warning sign and stop the flare, what is the goal?

The goal is a felt sense of control. It's a teen learning skills so they can notice what's happening inside their body and respond in a way that supports their nervous system's own ability to reset — whether or not the flare happens anyway.

What families I've worked with often see is that the win isn't a stopped symptom. The win is a teen who feels in charge of their body instead of being ambushed by it.

That shift — from fear to felt control — is the real nervous system regulation. And it's the beginning of meaningful brain retraining toward recovery.

How FND Sequencing Builds Body Awareness Over Time

One approach that can help teens build this awareness is something called FND sequencing, grounded in the clinical treatment principles of Dr. Klaivaska.

In simple terms, it's a gentle way of helping a teen track back what was happening in their body right before a flare. What was happening right before the symptom? And what was happening right before that?

Over time, this process builds a clean map of the teen's own nervous system. It teaches the body awareness that most teens haven't developed yet — not because anything is wrong with them, but because it's a skill that takes practice.

This awareness can be taught. And teaching it is one of the ways teens can begin retraining the brain toward safety instead of high alarm.

What This Means for Your Family

FND is not about mental health in the way most people assume. It's not about willpower. Kids are not faking. What we're really talking about is brain science and how it impacts the body.

Once you stop hunting for triggers and start helping your teen notice their inner signals — without the pressure to make symptoms disappear — everything begins to shift toward recovery.

If you're looking for a structured way to support your teen through this process, visit teenfndacademy.com to learn how Dr. Lee's program helps families navigate FND recovery with real neuroscience and practical, step-by-step support.

References

• Stager, L., Morriss, S., McKibben, L., Grant, M., Szaflarski, J. P., & Fobian, A. D. (2022). Sense of control, selective attention and cognitive inhibition in pediatric functional seizures: A prospective case-control study. Seizure: European Journal of Epilepsy, 98, 79–86. View study